Supporting Partners of Canadian Veterans with PTSD: Addressing the Unseen Challenges

The dedication of Canadian military personnel is rightfully acknowledged. The impact of operational stress injuries, particularly Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), on these veterans is well-known. However, a less visible, but equally important, impact is felt by the spouses and partners supporting them. These individuals often become quiet caregivers, providing unwavering support while dealing with emotional, physical, and practical challenges. This article explores the support available and the improvements needed to provide better care for these partners.

The Real-Life Challenges for Partners of Veterans

The partner of a veteran with PTSD faces a complex situation. It’s a blend of difficulties that test their strength every day. The person they love may have changed, and the partner may not know why. They may be seeing the impact of vicarious trauma up close.

One of the first and most difficult challenges is the loss of emotional connection. The lively, communicative partner they once knew might now seem distant. Communication, the foundation of any strong relationship, becomes difficult. The veteran, dealing with internal struggles, may find it hard to express their feelings, leaving their partner feeling isolated and confused. Trust can weaken under the strain of unspoken fears and unresolved trauma.

This emotional distance often comes with the partner’s own struggle with Secondary Traumatic Stress (STS). Constant exposure to the veteran’s trauma, either directly or by witnessing their struggles, can cause PTSD-like symptoms in the partner. Living with someone who has recurring nightmares, intense anxiety, or sudden anger can lead to anxiety, depression, feelings of isolation, and reduced well-being in the partner. They are, in effect, experiencing the echoes of trauma, becoming a secondary casualty of war. Partners experiencing Secondary PTSD for partners need support as well.

Beyond the emotional impact, the practical demands on the partner are often significant. They may become the primary caregiver, managing the household, possibly children, and the veteran’s appointments, medications, and daily struggles with PTSD symptoms. This caregiving role can be very overwhelming, causing burnout and exhaustion. It’s a constant commitment, often without breaks or adequate support.

The partner’s challenges are made worse by the need to interact with organizations like Veterans Affairs. Getting a diagnosis for their partner and finding effective treatment can be a long and challenging process.

These difficulties can lead to social isolation. The stigma around mental health, especially PTSD, can make it hard for both the veteran and the partner to seek help or share their struggles. Friends and family may not fully understand, offering well-meaning but unhelpful advice. Social events can become sources of anxiety, as the partner worries about managing the veteran’s triggers. They may withdraw from social circles, feeling increasingly alone.

Financial stress often adds another layer of difficulty. PTSD can affect the veteran’s ability to work, reducing the family’s income. This financial insecurity can worsen existing stress and create more problems for the partner, who may need to take on extra work or apply for financial aid and benefits.

Family life, once a source of comfort, can become a casualty of PTSD. The unique needs and challenges of the veteran’s condition put significant strain on family dynamics.

How Relationships Change Under Stress

Managing a relationship with a partner who has PTSD is extremely stressful.

• Broken Communication: Effective communication, the basis of a strong relationship, often suffers. Veterans with PTSD may find it hard to express their emotions, state their needs, or engage in open conversation. This can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and a growing sense of distance between partners.
• Emotional Distance: The emotional aspect of the relationship can change significantly. Veterans may experience emotional numbing, a way to detach from overwhelming feelings. This can leave their partners feeling rejected, unloved, and emotionally abandoned.
• Intimacy Issues: The physical and emotional intimacy that once defined the relationship may become strained or disappear. PTSD can manifest in ways that directly affect intimacy, including anxiety, hypervigilance, and reduced libido. The partner may struggle to understand these changes, leading to confusion, hurt, and resentment.
• Conflicts: The irritability, anger outbursts, and heightened startle response often linked to PTSD can create a tense environment in the relationship. Small disagreements can escalate quickly, causing frequent conflict and constant tension.
• Changing Roles: The dynamics of the relationship often change significantly. The non-military spouse may take on more household responsibilities, childcare, and financial management. This shift can cause imbalance, resentment, and exhaustion.
• Decreased family cohesion

Support Strategies for Healing

Fortunately, there are proven strategies to improve life for both the veteran and their partner.

• Cognitive-Behavioral Conjoint Therapy (CBCT): This therapy for couples addresses how PTSD symptoms and relationship distress affect each other. CBCT helps both partners understand PTSD’s impact on their relationship, improve communication, reduce avoidance, and challenge negative thoughts. It gives couples practical tools to manage PTSD symptoms and rebuild a stronger relationship. CBT for Veterans is also helpful when done as one on one therapy.

• Structured Approach Therapy (SAT): Like CBCT, SAT targets both PTSD symptoms and couple distress. This approach uses a structured, step-by-step method, giving couples a clear path to recovery. It focuses on improving communication, problem-solving, and emotional regulation, helping couples work together to overcome PTSD-related challenges.

• General Couple and Family Treatments: These focus on teaching skills such as managing conflict and working through issues in better ways.

• Education: Knowledge is empowering, especially for partners of veterans with PTSD. Providing detailed information about PTSD, its symptoms, its effects on relationships, and available treatments can be very helpful. Education helps partners understand that their loved one’s behaviors are symptoms of a treatable condition, not personal attacks. It also gives them the knowledge to navigate the healthcare system, advocate for their partner, and access support services.

• Support Groups: Connecting with others who have similar experiences can be validating and healing. Peer support groups offer a safe space for partners to share their struggles, exchange coping strategies, and get emotional support from people who understand. These groups can reduce feelings of isolation, create a sense of community, and provide practical advice and emotional strength.

• Self-Care and Skills Training: It’s vital for partners to prioritize their own well-being. Regular self-care, such as exercise, mindfulness, or hobbies, can help them manage stress, stay emotionally balanced, and avoid burnout. Skills training, like stress management or assertiveness training, can further improve their resilience and ability to cope with supporting a veteran with PTSD.

• Trauma Support: Some organizations provide trauma support for spouses of veterans. One example is Wounded Warriors Canada, with their Spousal Resiliency Program.

Canadian Support Resources

Canada provides a variety of resources at the federal, provincial, and community levels to support veterans and their families.

Federal Resources:

• Veterans Affairs Canada (VAC): VAC is the main federal department providing services and benefits to veterans and their families. https://www.veterans.gc.ca/eng. VAC offers programs including mental health support, financial aid, disability benefits, rehabilitation services, and case management. Partners can find information about these programs on the VAC website or by contacting a VAC office.

• Wounded Warriors Canada: This national organization provides trauma-informed programs and support to veterans, first responders, and their families. https://woundedwarriors.ca/. Wounded Warriors Canada has programs specifically for couples, like the Couples Overcoming PTSD Everyday (COPE) program, and the Spousal Resiliency Program (SRP) for partners. These programs often use evidence-based therapies and focus on improving communication, strengthening relationships, and building resilience. There are many resources for spouses of first responders available for those who need them.

• Operational Stress Injury Social Support (OSISS): OSISS is a national peer support network for Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) members, veterans, and their families dealing with operational stress injuries, including PTSD. OSISS offers a safe space for individuals to connect with others who have similar experiences, share coping strategies, and receive emotional support. The network is staffed by trained peer support workers with lived experience.

Provincial Resources (Alberta):

• Alberta Health Services (AHS): AHS is Alberta’s provincial healthcare provider and offers a range of mental health services. https://www.albertahealthservices.ca/. These include assessment, treatment, counseling, and support for individuals and families affected by PTSD and other mental health conditions. Albertans can access these services through their family doctor, local mental health clinics, or by contacting AHS.

• Access 24/7 (Edmonton): This service is a central access point for mental health and addiction services in Edmonton. Individuals can call 780-424-2424 to connect with a mental health professional who can assess their needs and refer them to appropriate services.

• Community and Social Services Help Line (Alberta): This province-wide helpline offers information and referrals for various social services, including mental health support. Albertans can call 1-877-644-9992 to speak with a specialist who can help them find resources.

• Boots on the Ground Alberta: Provides resources for online services in Alberta. Community-Based Resources:

• Military Family Resource Centres (MFRCs): MFRCs are located across Canada and offer programs and services designed for military families. https://www.cafconnection.ca/. These centres provide support groups, counseling, workshops, childcare, and deployment support. MFRCs are often a good first point of contact for partners seeking support.

• Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA): CMHA branches across Canada offer mental health services and support programs. https://cmha.ca/. These may include counseling, support groups, education, and advocacy. CMHA branches are a valuable resource for partners seeking general mental health support or information about local services.

Current Trends and Best Practices

The field of mental health care is always evolving, with new approaches emerging to better support veterans and their partners.

• Telehealth: Technology is expanding access to mental health care. Telehealth services, including online therapy and support groups, are helpful for partners in rural or remote areas, those with mobility issues, or those facing childcare challenges. There are many telehealth for mental health services available for those in Rural or Remote parts of Alberta.
• Peer Support: The value of shared experience is increasingly recognized. Peer support networks, both online and in-person, are gaining popularity as resources for partners. These networks provide a sense of community, reduce isolation, and offer practical advice and emotional support from those who have had similar experiences.
• Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices are showing promise in reducing PTSD symptoms and improving well-being for both veterans and their partners. Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) teaches individuals to focus on the present, develop self-awareness, and manage difficult emotions.
• Loving-Kindness: An intervention that may boost self-compassion in veterans.
• Resilience-Building Programs: Programs focused on building resilience and coping skills for partners are emerging. These programs provide partners with tools to manage stress, maintain their well-being, and navigate the challenges of supporting a veteran with PTSD. They often include stress management, communication skills training, and self-care practices.
• Integrated Care Models: Integrating mental health care for veterans and their families within primary care settings is gaining support. This approach improves access to care, helps identify mental health needs early, and promotes better coordination of services. It recognizes that mental health is part of overall health.

The Importance of Social Support

A strong social support network can greatly help partners of veterans with PTSD. The emotional, practical, and social support from family and friends can be crucial.

• Emotional Support: Having someone to listen, offer comfort, and understand can reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness. Family and friends can provide empathy, validation, and reassurance, helping partners feel less alone.
• Practical Assistance: The demands of supporting a veteran with PTSD can be overwhelming. Family and friends can help with childcare, household tasks, errands, or transportation, easing the burden on the partner and allowing them to focus on their own needs.
• Respite Care: Caring for a veteran with PTSD is demanding. Family and friends can provide respite care, allowing the partner to take breaks, recharge, and practice self-care. This can prevent burnout and help them maintain their well-being.
• Social Connection: Staying socially connected and engaging in enjoyable activities is important for well-being. Family and friends can provide opportunities for social interaction, helping partners stay connected to their support networks and maintain a sense of normalcy.

Strengthening these support systems involves:

• Open Communication: Encouraging open and honest communication within the family about PTSD and its impact is vital. Creating a safe space for partners to share their feelings and needs without judgment can promote understanding.
• Education: Educating family and friends about PTSD, its symptoms, and its effects on relationships can increase their understanding and reduce stigma. This can help them provide better support.
• Support Groups: Encouraging partners to connect with other families facing similar challenges through support groups can provide a sense of community. These groups offer emotional support, practical advice, and coping strategies.
• Professional Help: Family therapy can improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen relationships. A therapist can help family members understand each other’s perspectives and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Addressing Inequalities: Cultural Considerations

Access to mental health care and support is not always equal. Certain groups of veterans and their families may face unique challenges.

• Indigenous Veterans: Indigenous veterans and their families may face challenges related to historical trauma, cultural differences, and limited access to culturally appropriate services. There is limited specific information for Indigenous spouses; general resources may need to be used. Culturally sensitive outreach and tailored support programs are needed to address these issues and ensure Indigenous veterans and their families receive the care they need.

• Visible Minority Veterans: Visible minority veterans and their families may face discrimination, language barriers, and cultural differences affecting their access to care. Culturally competent service providers who understand the unique experiences of these communities are essential. Culturally tailored programs can help bridge the gap and ensure equitable care.

Ethical Considerations in Supporting Well-being

Supporting veterans and their partners requires careful attention to ethics.

• Confidentiality: Maintaining the privacy of both the veteran and the partner in mental health therapy is crucial, especially in couples or family therapy. Information shared in therapy should be treated with confidentiality, and clear guidelines should be set for sharing information with others.
• Informed Consent: Before any intervention, both the veteran and the partner must fully understand the support being offered, its potential benefits and risks, and their right to refuse or withdraw. Informed consent should be obtained clearly.
• Shared-Decision Making: Spouses need to take part in decision-making about the veteran.
• Boundary Issues: Clear boundaries must be set in therapeutic relationships to avoid conflicts of interest. Therapists should maintain professional boundaries and avoid interactions that could compromise the relationship or exploit the vulnerability of the veteran or partner.
• Cultural Sensitivity: Providing culturally competent and sensitive care is essential. Service providers should respect the diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and values of veterans and their families. Cultural differences should be considered in assessment, treatment, and support planning.
• Retraumatization: Providers must be mindful of potentially retraumatizing patients.

Recommendations for a Better Future

To improve support systems for partners of Canadian veterans with PTSD, consider these recommendations:

1. More Funding and Resources: Increased funding is needed to expand access to evidence-based support programs for partners. This includes funding for mental health services, peer support, respite care, and educational resources.
2. Targeted Outreach: Outreach programs designed to reach partners who may be unaware of resources or hesitant to seek help are crucial. These programs should be culturally sensitive and tailored to diverse communities.
3. Training for Service Providers: Healthcare professionals, therapists, and community service providers need specialized training on the needs of veteran partners and evidence-based support strategies. This training should equip them to provide effective and compassionate care.
4. Culturally Tailored Programs: Programs designed to address the needs of Indigenous, visible minority, and other diverse groups of veteran partners are essential. These programs should be developed in consultation with these communities to ensure they are culturally appropriate.
5. Research: More research is needed to evaluate the effectiveness of different support interventions and identify best practices for supporting veteran partners. This research should focus on long-term outcomes, cost-effectiveness, and the needs of diverse populations.
6. Integration of Services: Improving the integration of mental health services for veterans and their families within primary care and other settings is essential. This will help identify mental health needs early, improve access to care, and promote better coordination.
7. Public Awareness Campaigns: Public awareness campaigns are needed to reduce the stigma around PTSD and promote help-seeking behavior among veterans and their families. These campaigns should highlight the importance of early intervention and the availability of support services.

By addressing these recommendations, Canada can create a more supportive and inclusive environment for the partners of veterans with PTSD. These unsung heroes deserve recognition, respect, and access to the resources they need to thrive. It is important to consider recognizing PTSD signs in veterans and their spouses.

If you are the partner of a veteran struggling with PTSD, remember that you are not alone and help is available. Reach out to Responders First today to explore the resources and support options tailored to your needs.

Don Davis

15+ years of emergency response experience. Passionate about connecting our first responder communities with critical resources. Author of hundreds of articles and guides on First Responders mental health care. When not responding to emergencies, you can find me playing with my dogs, hiking, or enjoying a good book.