Emotional Shutdown: Supporting Partners of Alberta's EMTs

Emotional shutdown is a serious concern for partners and spouses of Emergency Medical Technicians (EMTs) in Alberta. It’s a state of emotional detachment, where someone experiences numbness and withdraws from their own feelings and the feelings of others. This isn’t just a bad mood; it’s a way of coping with the stress, secondary trauma, and anxieties that come from being close to someone in a high-stress job. It’s different from choosing to withdraw when upset. Emotional shutdown is longer-lasting and affects a person’s whole life. If you are concerned about emotional shutdown in first responders, help is available.

Signs of Emotional Shutdown

Emotional shutdown affects many parts of a person’s life. Some key signs include:

• Reduced Emotional Expression: The person may show little or no emotional reaction to situations that would normally cause joy, sadness, anger, or excitement. They might seem distant.
• Difficulty Empathizing: They may struggle to understand or share the feelings of others, including their EMT partner. This can strain the relationship and make a person feel very alone.
• Social Withdrawal: The person may avoid friends, family, and social gatherings, preferring to be alone.
• Increased Irritability or Anxiety: While seeming emotionally numb, the person may also be irritable, anxious, or depressed.
• Physical Symptoms: Emotional shutdown can manifest as chronic fatigue, trouble sleeping, and changes in appetite.
• Cognitive Difficulties: It can be hard to concentrate or make decisions.
• Hopelessness: A sense of hopelessness about the future and feelings of being trapped can occur.
• Loss of Interest: Activities the person once enjoyed may lose their appeal.
• Substance Use: Some people may turn to alcohol or other substances to numb their feelings. This can worsen the situation.

These signs, especially when several occur together over time, indicate a significant issue needing attention. Emotional shutdown is not a weakness, but a response to overwhelming stress.

What Causes Emotional Shutdown?

Emotional shutdown in partners of EMTs doesn’t happen suddenly. It’s a complex condition linked to the EMT profession and its impact on relationships. Key causes include:

• Secondary Traumatic Stress (STS): Partners don’t directly experience traumatic events, but they indirectly experience them through the EMT’s stories and reactions. This can lead to symptoms similar to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), including intrusive thoughts and anxiety. PTSD in EMTs is prevailent. Research shows that the impact of secondary trauma is also significant.
• Compassion Fatigue: Constant exposure to suffering, even indirectly, can wear down a person’s empathy. This leads to emotional exhaustion and a reduced ability to connect emotionally.
• Communication Barriers: EMTs may find it hard to share their experiences, fearing they’ll burden their partner. Partners may struggle to start communication problems in first responder relationships, fearing they’ll say the wrong thing.
• Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms: EMTs often develop coping strategies that involve emotional detachment. While helpful at work, this can be misinterpreted by partners as a lack of care.
• Persistent Anxiety and Worry: The dangers of the EMT profession create constant worry for partners. Fear for their loved one’s safety and unpredictable hours generate chronic anxiety.

These factors often reinforce each other, creating challenges for both the EMT and their partner.

Emotional Shutdown: Not Just Burnout or Depression

Emotional shutdown shares some symptoms with burnout and depression in EMTs and paramedics, but it’s a distinct issue, specifically within the EMT partner relationship.

• Burnout vs. Emotional Shutdown: Burnout is work-related, resulting from chronic workplace stress. Emotional shutdown in a partner is linked to secondary exposure to trauma through the EMT’s job.
• Depression vs. Emotional Shutdown: Emotional shutdown can be a symptom of depression. However, depression is a broader mood disorder. Emotional shutdown is more tied to the EMT relationship and secondary trauma.

The key difference is the source of the distress. Emotional shutdown in EMT partners is rooted in the vicarious experience of trauma and the challenges of being with someone in a high-stress profession.

A Look at the History

In the past, research focused on the well-being of responders themselves – EMTs, paramedics, firefighters, and police. The impact on their families was largely overlooked. Research highlights this past focus on those providing care, rather than impacts on family.

A turning point came in the 1990s with the recognition of Secondary Traumatic Stress (STS). Researchers like Charles Figley showed how people close to trauma survivors could develop PTSD-like symptoms without direct exposure. This was further investigated in studies from the 1990’s.

As awareness of responders’ mental health grew, it shed light on the toll on families. This led to:

• Recognition by Professionals: The medical and emergency service communities acknowledged that compassion fatigue and secondary traumatic stress extended to families.
• Development of Programs: Programs were created to address the well-being of both responders and their families.
• Emergence of Support Groups: Support groups and resources for families of emergency responders began to appear.

These developments marked a step forward, acknowledging the “hidden victims” of trauma.

Current Trends Making Things Harder

Several factors add to the issue of emotional shutdown today:

• Increased Call Volume and Intensity: Many areas in Canada, including Alberta, are seeing a surge in emergency calls. EMTs face more calls and more intense situations. This increases stress and secondary trauma for partners. The increase in call volume has been well documented.

• Socioeconomic Stressors: Financial pressures, long working hours for EMTs, and the rising cost of living add strain.

• Access to Mental Health Resources: Access to affordable mental health services remains a barrier, especially in rural and remote Alberta communities.

• Workplace Support: Support systems for EMTs vary between EMS agencies. Some offer good programs, while others have limited support.

• The COVID-19 Pandemic: The pandemic burdened healthcare workers, including EMTs. Increased exposure to death, fears of infection, longer hours, and staffing shortages created a perfect storm for stress, increasing emotional shutdown risk.

  • Increased exposure to death and serious illness.
  • Concerns about infecting family members.
  • Increased work hours and staffing shortages.
  • Social isolation.

These trends highlight the ongoing challenges faced by EMT families.

Different Approaches to Help

There are varying approaches to managing emotional shutdown.

• Individual Therapy:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps identify and change negative thought patterns. CBT for paramedics and EMTs has shown positive outcomes.
  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Helps process traumatic memories. It is often very effective.

• Couples Therapy:

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between partners.

• Support Groups: Connecting with other partners of EMTs provides validation and reduces isolation.

• Mindfulness Practices:

  • Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR): Techniques like meditation help manage anxiety.

Proven Strategies

• For Partners/Spouses:

  • Building a Support Network: Seeking social support from friends, family, or support groups.
  • Prioritizing Self-Care: Engaging in exercise, hobbies, and relaxation.
  • Setting Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries with the EMT partner about work-related trauma discussions.
  • Developing an Independent Identity: Cultivating interests outside of the EMT’s profession.

• For EMTs:

  • Utilizing Workplace Resources: Taking advantage of peer support and Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs).
  • Prioritizing Self-Care: Practicing self-care like exercise and mindfulness.
  • Communicating Effectively: Learning to communicate openly while respecting boundaries.
  • Seeking Professional Help: Seeking help from a therapist specializing in trauma.

Different Influences

• Cultural Influences: Cultural norms around emotional expression and seeking help can influence how emotional shutdown is experienced.
• Regional Variations: Access to mental health resources varies between urban and rural areas, especially in Alberta.

Ongoing Discussions

• Sharing Work Details: A debate revolves around how much EMTs should share work details with partners. Some argue for full transparency, while others believe protecting partners from graphic details is necessary.
• Balancing Needs: Finding the right balance between the needs of the EMT and the partner is a challenge.
• Pathologizing vs. Support: It’s crucial to provide support without labeling adaptive coping as problematic.

Different Perspectives

• Mental Health Professionals: Emphasize trauma-informed care and early intervention.
• EMT Organizations: Focus on providing workplace support and reducing stigma.
• EMT Partners/Spouses: Voice the need for understanding, communication, and resources.

These perspectives highlight the need for a collaborative approach.

Practical Management and Resources

Managing emotional shutdown requires communication, self-care, and access to support.

Communication Techniques

• Active Listening: Paying attention to what the other person is saying without interrupting.
• Validation: Acknowledging the other person’s feelings.
• “I” Statements: Expressing needs using “I” statements (“I feel worried when…”) to avoid blame.
• Dedicated Time: Setting aside time for open communication.
• Emotional Boundaries: Recognizing and respecting each other’s emotional boundaries.

Self-Care Strategies

• For the EMT:

  • Regular Exercise: Physical activity relieves stress.
  • Healthy Diet: Nourishing the body supports well-being.
  • Adequate Sleep: Prioritizing sleep is crucial.
  • Mindfulness Practices: Meditation or deep breathing.
  • Hobbies and Interests: Pursuing activities outside of work.
  • Social Connection: Spending time with loved ones.

• For the Partner/Spouse:

  • The same self-care practices are important.
  • Activities that foster a sense of identity separate from the relationship are crucial.

Resources for Mental Health Support

• Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs): Many EMS agencies offer EAPs, providing confidential counseling.
• Private Therapists: Therapists specializing in trauma or working with first responders.
• Support Groups: Groups for partners of emergency responders.
• Online Resources and Forums: Online resources provide information and support.

Building Resilience

• Strong Social Support: Maintaining strong social connections.
• Stress Management Techniques: Practicing mindfulness or deep breathing.
• Meaning and Purpose: Finding meaning in life.
• Positive Outlook: Focusing on positive aspects and practicing gratitude.
• Adaptability: Learning to adapt to change.

Advice for EMTs

• Acknowledge the Impact: Recognize that your work can impact your partner.
• Be Open to Communication: Listen to your partner’s concerns without judgment.
• Seek Support: Seek support for your own well-being.
• Model Healthy Coping: Demonstrate healthy ways of managing stress.
• Respect Boundaries: Understand your partner’s emotional boundaries.

The Canadian and Albertan Context

• Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA): Offers mental health resources across Canada. [https://cmha.ca/].
• Alberta Health Services (AHS): Provides mental health services in Alberta, including resources for healthcare workers.
• Tema Conter Memorial Trust: Supports first responders and families, focusing on PTSD and trauma. [https://www.tema.ca/].
• The Canadian Critical Incident Stress Foundation: Connects individuals with support services. [https://ccisf.info/].
• Rural and Remote Challenges: Limited access to mental health services in rural Alberta communities is a challenge.

Taking the Next Steps

Emotional shutdown in partners of EMTs is a serious issue, distinct from burnout and depression. It requires understanding and support. If you’re experiencing emotional shutdown, or you’re an EMT concerned about your partner, reach out to Responders First. We can help you find the support and resources to navigate these challenges and strengthen your relationship. Contact us today to learn more.

Don Davis

15+ years of emergency response experience. Passionate about connecting our first responder communities with critical resources. Author of hundreds of articles and guides on First Responders mental health care. When not responding to emergencies, you can find me playing with my dogs, hiking, or enjoying a good book.